The Blue Collar Parasite

So the other day I was thinking about the male stereotype and the games they play. Your first thought might go to sports such as Hockey, Football or even underwater basket weaving but those are not the games I am think of. No these are the everyday sort of games that men use to compete with each other on a daily passive aggressive basis. There are four of these games I feel:

A real man...

I just bought...

How hot do you like it...

How does this smell...


Personally I find the "A Real Man" games to be the most fun. Mostly because when you finish the sentence it doesn't ever need to be something you have done. To win the game you only need to think or a crazier or more "macho" statement. It may start with something that someone has done but it will quickly devolve into a chaotic spiral of dick waving and sexist comments. For the record "A real man has a big penis" If you want to win you need to think hard and fast.

A typical round might go: "A real man doesn't need to wash his clothes cause that's what women are for." followed by 'Oh yeah, A real man doesn't even need to wear clothes." Now both of those statement are insane to think about in realistic terms but that isn't what this game is about. It is all about one upping the previous statement. Here some fun ones I've heard over the years.

"A real man can take down a deer from 200 yards with a pistol"

"A real man drives his vehicle through walls and calls it a shortcut"

"A real man doesn't need no help"

"A real man can breath in space"

"A real man uses a spork"

" A real man farts and it smells like motor oil"

"A real man drives slow as to avoid danger"

The rest of the games are really just the same only they are based in fact. You can't claim to have bought the Queen of England a cheeseburger, you could claim that "A real man gives the Queen of England a Cheeseburger and she likes it!"
You can't claim to have eaten the hottest pepper in the world, you need to actually eat the hottest pepper in the world. While in front of a crowd of people (mostly women) in a bar.
You can't say I smelled something really bad you need to produce that smell and then flaunt it to men and not women.

On second thought you could claim those things but be prepared to back it up.