The Blue Collar Parasite

So the other day I was thinking about the male stereotype and the games they play. Your first thought might go to sports such as Hockey, Football or even underwater basket weaving but those are not the games I am think of. No these are the everyday sort of games that men use to compete with each other on a daily passive aggressive basis. There are four of these games I feel:

A real man...

I just bought...

How hot do you like it...

How does this smell...


Personally I find the "A Real Man" games to be the most fun. Mostly because when you finish the sentence it doesn't ever need to be something you have done. To win the game you only need to think or a crazier or more "macho" statement. It may start with something that someone has done but it will quickly devolve into a chaotic spiral of dick waving and sexist comments. For the record "A real man has a big penis" If you want to win you need to think hard and fast.

A typical round might go: "A real man doesn't need to wash his clothes cause that's what women are for." followed by 'Oh yeah, A real man doesn't even need to wear clothes." Now both of those statement are insane to think about in realistic terms but that isn't what this game is about. It is all about one upping the previous statement. Here some fun ones I've heard over the years.

"A real man can take down a deer from 200 yards with a pistol"

"A real man drives his vehicle through walls and calls it a shortcut"

"A real man doesn't need no help"

"A real man can breath in space"

"A real man uses a spork"

" A real man farts and it smells like motor oil"

"A real man drives slow as to avoid danger"

The rest of the games are really just the same only they are based in fact. You can't claim to have bought the Queen of England a cheeseburger, you could claim that "A real man gives the Queen of England a Cheeseburger and she likes it!"
You can't claim to have eaten the hottest pepper in the world, you need to actually eat the hottest pepper in the world. While in front of a crowd of people (mostly women) in a bar.
You can't say I smelled something really bad you need to produce that smell and then flaunt it to men and not women.

On second thought you could claim those things but be prepared to back it up.

Cupcake Delight

So the other day I came home to the smell of Baked Goods. This heavenly aroma of confectionery creations sparked my imagination as to what they may have been. It was too sweet to have been bread and no traces of Banana lingered anywhere. No cookies could been seen cooling anywhere, but empty cupcake boxes where scattered along the counter. I quickly headed into the house to find these carefully portioned pieces of cake.



Rounding the corner I found my wife carefully applying a frosting base to her baked goods. Surprised to see me, she reluctantly paused her work and said "Hi." I gazed at the treats she had spread across the table.




A vast array of miniature cakes covered with frosting, sprinkles, tiny M&M's or powdered sugars. Each one constructed with methodical thought and executed with an artistic flare.




Some depicting the seasons past others showing a sign of love. Each was a character of extraordinary being. Their tale proudly displayed for all to see and know.




Every time I peeled off the wrapper to eat one a little voice would cry out "Now I am complete, consume me and rejoice." Each bite was more delicious than the last. I hide my tears, for to cry would only dishearten the others.




With the last cupcake consumed my wife and I retired to our bed in silence. We both realized when the Sun broke the horizon no more could we find our culinary treats. They were gone, no more. We would have to make more. There was no guarantee that they would ever be as good ever again.

Space Time and Conversations

I arrived late at a meeting today. I apologized and we continued with our business. The meeting was running over in time and we where discussing random work related topics when I thought:

We where discussing these topics at 2:10pm, if I had arrived on time would we had been discussing these topics at 1:50pm.? Would we even be discussing these topics at all? Would my arrival at another time have affected our conversation in a different way? Would our conversation have been the same as this current one? How much does my arrival at a destination affect the experience I will have there?

I find myself wondering about these types of things far too often. I wonder if that will change?

Reflections need light and AgNO3

I took a few pictures during the last few weeks of 2007 and figured it would be a good way to reflect on this past year.



This was taken in mid November while I was driving around with Jessalyn. I turned and told her that it is moments like this when I wish I had a nice camera. She responded by telling me that she did have a nice camera and that it was with her. I hit the breaks grabbed the camera and ran onto the road to catch this gorgeous sunset.






This Picture was taken in St. Thomas while we where honeymooning. I will be posting more floral picture in the future.







I didn't take this picture. I was next to the person that took this picture. They also put this picture on my computer so I could post it on this blog one day.







I took this picture so I would remember that clouds aren't flat but rather grand 3 dimensional groupings of moisture. When I look up into the sky from the ground the clouds have a flat appearance to me. So when I was flying in a plane and could see the clouds from a different angle I began to appreciate them.







I'm not sure why I find sunsets so fascinating. I don't think I have ever taken a picture of a sunrise, never seemed all that interesting. Sunsets have this awesome grandness to them. Almost as if the sun is trying to go out in a blaze of glory.