How many 5 year olds

When I first saw this question I became very curious How many 5 year olds I could fight. Here are the conditions of the fight:

* You are in an enclosed area roughly the size of a basketball court
* There are no weapons or foreign objects
* Everyone is wearing a cup (so no kicks to the groin)
* The children are merciless and will show no fear
* If a child is knocked unconscious, he is "out." The same goes for you.

So Before you take this quiz think to yourself, How many 5 year olds could you fight?


Here is my score:
33

Tipping

I may have deduced the perfect formula for tipping. No more will you need to figure out 15% or try to decide how well the waiter did to justify the arbitrary number you are assigning to their service. Heres how it works.

You divide X (The total number of times the waiter/waitress came to the table) over 2 plus N. (N is equal to the number of times the waiter/waitress came to the table and it was an annoyance.) Now take that number and multiply it by 1.5 and round it to the nearest dollar. If the waiter/waitress was good they should get a nice big tip if they where annoying they will receive less of a tip.


((X/(2+n))*1.5)Roundup = tip


I'm going to start to use this formula more often and see how well it works. There is another variable that I will include. If you have to wear a tie to the restaurant add a zero to the number that you round too and double it.

Orange

The other day I was peeling some Clementine oranges and thinking of how good they'll be when I finally eat them. I then happened to noticed how nicely they peel. The skin didn't break apart into small pieces but rather stayed together like some thick organic paper. One thing lead to another and the next thing I know I got creative with a camera, enjoy.

Haiku Hour

I figured I should get back to writing more often. There's some haikus I composed:

Dusty controllers
Level finally beaten
Illusion complete

Light caress
Dreams slowly slip away
Rise awakened

Shiny change
Jingle all together now
Deliver coffee

Palm on Palm
Now together in rhythm
Trumpet the sound

I remember the pattern going 5, 7, 5. If I'm off let me know.

Wedding

Up top is a video put together by your wedding photographer Jason Alexander. I think he did a great job, We really enjoyed working with him. He was very relaxed and open to the odd suggestion or two, yet professional the whole time. He recently placed this video on his Blog along with many others. Head on over to his site and check it out: Apssite.

On anothe note, I haven't been updating this blog very often that is going to change. I shall make the promise that just about every other blogger makes.

"I will update this blog more."

Rock the scale of Gravity

I just fould this site Slightlywarped Curiosities on this page they had some good photo's of somethign I've been trying to do since I wa six; balance rocks. It may seem laughable at first but It looks good when done right.

Do as I say, not as I do

Personally I am a fan of the group Improv Everywhere. I haven't followed every little prank or "Improv" mission they have ever had but I have followed the more publicized events. Really these missions are non-malicious pranks that are beneficial to an unknowing host. This idea is similar to a computer virus that would do good things to your computer. While it is annoying that you have a virus and that this virus helped your computer without hurting it, it still didn't ask if you wanted it to help your computer.

The first mission I witnessed -not so much witnessed as saw online - was Best Buy. Now that I think about it I can remember a few times I've been in a store and happen to be wearing colors similar to that of store employees’ and being asked questions. My response always seems to be "Sorry, I don't work here.”

Their latest mission was:No Shirts. I'm glad someone decided to go and see if Abercrombie could take what they where serving. The organizer of this event really laid out why they are doing this. He has some good points, I'll stop explaining and let you watch the video.

Movie Freak

I took this lovely little quiz anf found I'm quite the movie freak. With my friend Josh in a close second.

95% Movie Freak

I wonder if the girl's quiz is different?

Baseball and Hot Dogs

So back in July I went to a twins game with Jessi. We had a great time, the weather was fair, the twins won their game and we got to sample some traditional baseball themed foods. I have three foods I really gravitate towards; the pretzel, nachos, and Domedogs.





Pretzels at sporting events for some reason are covered with more salt than one should ever eat. I scrapped off all the excess salt and found that there was about two teaspoons on it.





Nachos are also good, as you can see by the joyful looking Jessi's eyes. The best part of getting nachos is also getting the bonus prize, jalapeños. Nothing quite tastes like cheap cheese sauce on a corn chip with a spicy jalapeño on top. Mmmm... Tasty.



The pinnacle of the culinary experience is a properly prepared Domedog. These ¼ pound pork/beef on a white bread bun should not be eaten unless prepared correctly. First apply even amounts of ketchup and Mustard to opposite side of the Domedog. Then add relish to the ketchup side and onions to the mustard side. Now while doing this try not to add too much or else your toppings will fall off and you will look like a glutinous slob.



The game was fun and I look forward to trying it again next year.

Meeting Blog

I figured I would throw this up during a meeting. So here is the meeting video put up during a meeting.







My meeting wasn't like these. But if it where, I would go to more meetings.

Imagination be Damed

I and my lovely soon to be wife have made the vast and all too common plunge into debt by purchasing a home. Some would say it isn't really debt but rather an investment. It may be that why when we decide to sell it, but until then it feels like debt. (More about the house and photos will follow at a later date and time.) The house itself is located in the city and since I have an overactive imagination I have been noticing how similar my house is to that of murder victims on crime shows. Years upon years of living in the suburbs will do that to you. Every crime show on TV is showing the most vicious and vile crimes happening in the city too try and shock viewers into sticking around for commercials.

Years of watching that really helps you see dark figures wielding sharpened spoons hiding around corners waiting to slice you open and feast on your spleen while masturbating over your dying corpse. Then they rape your dead body, twice. But lucky there is a handsome young detective there to console your grieving wife who finds the one piece of evidence everyone has over looked leading to a high speed chase down a freeway ending in a full on, no reservations gun battle in an abandoned warehouse. Resulting in the bloody death of they bad guy at the hands of the handsome detective and the happy ever after life for the widow.

Sometimes at night when I look at either one of my neighbor’s houses I start to picture a dark basement full of people they have been drugged and shackled to the wall waiting to be tortured. At night skin is cut off their bodies in little pieces while the toururer draws whiskers on their face with blood and then starts sewing the skin into a suit to fit their cat. That way it isn't weird that they want to have a romantic relationship with they cat, because it is in a human suit, making it look like a little person... with four legs... that purrs...not weird.

Every time I walk into my garage at night I expect to find an underground cock fight ring surrounded by a vicious mob of the most disreputable types of people screaming incoherent curses at the poultry gladiators while drinking some chilled malt beverages. Then I get stabbed in the face because I didn't know the password. As I lye there bleeding profusely from my face the fleeing mob of immoral cock wranglers trample me beneath their feet as the try to avoid the police that have arrived on scene to arrest these perpetrators. The organizer pulls me up as a human shield while he wildly fires and full automated weapon and the police. Once the ensuing fire fight has finished I am arrested for underground illegal cock fighting and get the death penalty.

Most of my imaginary scenarios involve things of that nature. I feel they may be more disturbing than most peoples. I only really saw these imaginary moments of time at night while walking through the darkness to throw that trash out when I first moved to the house. Now I really don’t see them anymore mainly because after I imagine them and they don’t happen to me that means I’ve already seen it and it’s pretty unbelievable to think about. Maybe next season I’ll see something better.

Video Games

There are a few Video games coming out here that I am really looking forward to playing.

Eternal Sonata - Set in a world Fredric Chopin dreamed and then wrote about hours before he died. First off that strikes me as one of the most unique world settings to be used for a game. I’m egger to see what the environments will be like and what roles music will play in the game. Being a big fan of RPG type games it would be hard to want to play one on the 360.




Halo 3 – It’s time to finish the Damn fight. I have spent too many hours of my life playing this series. I’ve played both 1 and 2 multiple times through alone and with Jessalyn. In college I spend weeks in multiplayer death matches with friends. I even own the novels based on the games. The game play is intense and fun. The story with the games has enough substance to keep me interested. I would compare their story telling style to the C&C games. You play through the levels just to see what happens next. I really want to see how it ends and also start playing some multiplayer death matches against friends.



Mass Effect – The only thing better than a Fantasy RPG is a Sci-Fi RPG in my opinion. Bioware is about to release a new one and I hope it is as good if not better than last two. I’ve been following this game for about a year now. Each new video of game footage that is released impresses me even more. Nothing beats sitting back and watching aliens and robots getting blasted apart with high energy weapons.



Bio Shock – I came a little late to this party. When I read a little about it seemed to be a new American McGee knock off. A dark world, strange terrifying creatures, little girls with even stranger powers and the always pleasant sounds of smooth jazzy tunes from the 1930’s playing in the background. Then I saw some in game footage and Wow. This game looks like nonstop thrill ride to awesome land, my initial feelings where wrong about his game and now I must atone by purchasing it.




Source

Why would you play in Sea Foam

Over the weekend it seems the Australian coast was turned in to a foam clubbers dream vacation destination. Vast lengths of beach where covered by sea foam. It was made as a result of storms off the coast kicking up large amounts of surf (or a Tide tanker ran a ground some where nearby) Personally, If I have a choice between playing around with sea foam or man made foam I would go for a bike ride. Which begs the question why would you want to wallow in sea foam? Maybe you want to smell like dead fish. Maybe you enjoy the feel of fishy salty foam on your skin. For what every your reason for frolicking though it, I don’t get it. If however you are trying to escape it, I sympathize.



You can tell one of these girls know the peril they're currently in.



"Run Boy, Run!"


"We were to late. The foam has taken two more."
"Won't someone think of the children!"

Source

Corporations are the new High School

Today I lost access to a few of my favorite websites from my work computer. Before you begin inquiring as to how mach porn websites I was going too, I will tell you now. None, no porn, zero, zilch, nada, my viewing experience was whole hearted in nature and execution. With that being said I have been denied access to the enjoyable review and commentary sites of IGN, Gamespy, 1UP and - the ever important cornerstone of the internet - Youtube. Additional the - jewel encrusted grand crowned emperor of my internet buffet - Penny Arcade has been banished from the electronic realms of my work. I am sure there are those that have resisted this movement and even now are once again finding alternate routes back to their sites of choice.







Regardless of the actions of others, my co-worker commented that "thankfully" Youtube is now blocked here and at every other high school in America. Then as quickly as Zeus dropping a buck with a lightning bolt from 200 yards it occurred to me, Corporations are very much like high school. When you look at them at first you would think they don’t have very much in common. But if you ponder the social rules, situations and enviroments that are present in each you can find similarities between them.

Both have large masses of people coming to a common building. Both have mind numbing tasks that seem to have no real purpose until you complete project and realize you where but one piece of a vast array trying to work harmoniously toward the same end goal. Within both there exists clicks, groups, clubs, teams that work together, fall apart, pursue common goals together and back stab each other for personal gain. In my opinion if you name just about any cliché plot device or problem from any high school movie short of something about prom and you’ll find within the Corporate World. (Although the thought of a corporate prom is funny, coworkers building up courage to ask each other to the prom, a band playing “Wonderful Tonight” to couples slowly dancing while making out. The fear that each others braces will lock together.) People within both are trying their hardest to be accepted and liked by others around them in order to better gauge the successes in their life.

Perhaps it is not that Corporations are like high school but rather the rules of society are created in high school and then refined through the rest of your life. In that way we can see the similarities between the two but also acknowledge the vast differences in the motivations behind our actions.

Desolation is for the Desolators

While on my morning super highway commute I happened across a wonderful array of photography. These haughtily colored photos of abandoned and desolate creations beckoned me to stop and stay a while. Colored picture after colored picture I became more and more fascinated with how the photographer managed to show an elegance and sense of lost honor with each picture. I was saddened that these creations of man now lay forgotten and dying. Silently they cry out in hope of being rescued for the dilapidated quagmire of neglect they are currently suffering. With the little dignity that remains, they wait for the soul of humanity to return to them.









Scource: Lost America

The Natural Flow

Now I'm not sure if you work in a place with a lot of people but I do. I’m in downtown and over the past year or so I have come to notice something interesting about traveling through a mass of people. There is a “Natural Flow” to the masses. Perhaps flow doesn’t quite describe what I am eluding at. A better way to describe it would be “Harmonious Synchronization of Individuals Traversing Distance at the Greatest Efficient Possible”. Josh had made mention of this phenomenon once before but alas, it seems his post about it has been lost to the internet.

I find when I am in the flow (H.S.I.T.D.G.E.) my ability to move from point A to point B is much easier. As I approach people they move ever so slightly off to the side as though they acknowledge my desire to pass them. This also works vice versa I’ll move myself out of the way of those wanting to go around me. My stride is unhindered by others around me. This phenomenon typically lasts for the whole day. You never really think about it until you find yourself out of synch with the Natural Flow.

Suddenly every person you encounter is in your way. Every action you take to pass or move around some one becomes awkward and more of an effort and rather an unhindered stride. You move to pass and people step out in front of you and instead of casually walking around them you’re squeezing between people in a hurry. Others around seem to move around you so effortlessly yet you are held back by some unknown force. Consequently you journey seems to pass much slower than if you where in the flow.

You may ask “How does one get into or back into the flow?” I really have no idea. My leading theory on it would be that the more relaxed you are about your day the better your chance of finding the flow are riding it. Josh had synched with it while listening to The White Stripes and looking at giant sculptures.



This Diagram should help clear up how the "Natural Flow" systems works.

This Cat Hates you

I found this on digg and figured i would have to share it with those of you who don't digg. This cat does hate you, no matter what you do.




Some should show this lady how to set the volume levels on her camera.

How Dumb am I?

I found this short quiz that tells you how dumb you are. I fell in the bottom 25%. I just thought I was dumber than that.





Find out how smart you are.

Engagement

Here is a nice picture collage of me and my Fiancée. She looks great.

I however, look like a schmuck.

A Little Construction Project

I am working on a show called "Movie Connection" with a few friends of mine. The other weekend myself and Dan bought some supplies and constructed three heart pillars. These monuments to love will serve as the finishing touch to our set. Feast your eyes upon Monoliths and know them to be great.

Cheap Post

I feel like this is a cheap post.

The "Which/How much (Insert Something Here) are you" post is a quick and cheap way to fill space on a blog. Now with my conscience clear check out which character I am from "Firefly".

Your results:

You are: Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)

Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 80% DerrialBook (Shepherd) 70% Wash (Ship Pilot) 65% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 60% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 55% Alliance 55% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 50% Inara Serra (Companion) 45% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 45% River (Stowaway) 25% A Reaver (Cannibal) 5%

Honest and a defender of the innocent. You sometimes make mistakes in judgment but you are generally good and would protect your crew from harm.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

F.Y.E.O. (For Your Eyes Only)

In case your where wondering:

“This is a personal blog (vlog, wiki, podcast, etc.). The views and opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.”


That is the last you will hear on that matter.

Look a seal!

The Moment Captured

This video is very interesting I feel. Here's why: It's real. You may be saying "of course it's real" but, do you realize how real this is. On the internet these days so much of the video’s we see are crazy things happening, someone posing to do something normal and suddenly silly zaniness ensues or it's a clip of something real amazing happening. Any clip that is of dull ordinary things don’t even surface for a moment of glory. This is not a dull ordinary video. This is a moment captured in time. After the smiles and nods to the camera are done you see people just being people. Every day things you see all the time yet they are unique some how. That is really what turned my interest with this video.

Also there is a monkey hidden in the video somewhere.

Swinging For Love and Lost

The other day my meandering travels took me to the west side. There I happened unique and enchanting artifact, a swing. This white roped chestnut cherry wood stained seated beauty happened to be calling my name with a tantalizing sonnet. As I approached, soon it became apparent that the swing itself was not the composer of this enticing ballad but rather, a beautiful and elegantly sculpted muse draped in turquoise.



Knowing her enticing melody had entranced me far before I laid my eyes upon her, I now was devoted to her. With a haste I made my way to her beckoning call. This chimed the end of her chorus and began her verse. It compeled me to push her higher in hopes she would reach the stars above. Before my I fully realized I had rushed to her aid and began to endeavor to satisfy her request.



Slowly working the rhythm of her swing we began to excel her to the stars in the sky. My feeble strength grows with every push. She empowered me, enhances me, made me discover my true self. I summon forth strength I never knew I was capable of before. All of it was for her.



Then with my last push she completed her ascension to the heavens. As I gaze upon her beauty leaving the earth, remorse falls over me. My muse has left me. Alas, my inspiration, my idol of creativity, my divining rod my imagination is beyond my reach.



Perhaps not, for it was with me that she reached the stars. Now my destiny is reveled to me. She has not abandoned me, rather motivated me to new heights. I shall begin my attempt to join with her in the heavens. At first my attempts a meet with few results but slowly I work up the might to breach the thinly veiled sky.



When I finally shatter the the fine crystal sheet of the horizon. There my muse shall greet me with a warming embrace and joyful tears. For I have defied the Heavens and the laws of Nature to reunite myself with her. Then together we shall traverse through the sky's infinite being for all eternity.

While perusing the off beat news I happened to came across this image in a Fark Photoshop forum. Its horrific beauty fascinated my imagination and ignited some of my greatest fears. The mere thought of seven individuals gathering round to pay witness to the destructive force they wield at their finger tips chilled my soul. Would they use this force to promote change for the betterment of man or rather to bring about a forced submission of us all?





It was done by "Dark Johnson"



Check out the rest of the Photoshop forum fun here: Fark Forum

The Art of Limit

Recently I gave up caffeine. It came as a result of drink a vast amount of it in order to stay awake while driving. My long late night drive from Ashland Wisconsin was difficult even with the three energy drinks, a coffee, and a pop or two I was still having trouble staying awake. Thankfully my lovely fiancée stayed awake with me for most of the ride. Needless to say that got me thinking, why am I drinking all this caffeine if it doesn't even help me stay awake? A few of my friends in the past have recommended cutting it out for a while. So taking their advice I stopped taking the caffeine.
After about a week and some Tylenol I was doing fine without it. No shakes, wild cravings for the smell of fresh ground coffee, no cold sweats, it was fairly uneventful. I was an at least hoping for a baby on the ceiling but alas my hopes never came to fruition. But is the meantime I found some inspiring pictures of coffee drinks made by either board customers or excellent baristas. The rest can be found here: Coffee Photos

Today's rants are brought to you by the media, cats, and the number 17.

I don't care for the media anymore. I don't want to hear about any and every single potentially slightly interesting story that is currently going on. Stories like: Baby born in hospital filled with Deadly Bacteria or Obscure Person you didn't know of said bad thing about some people. This celebrity has gotten together with this celebrity just after this person died. Oh no, look a child has been kidnapped by terrorists that are now crying for the death of the United States. The first story makes me wonder if the baby was filled with bacteria or if the hospital was. I better tune in at 11 to find out. Really what I'm trying to get at is that news stations depend on ratings to maintain sponsors. As a result we are now forced to listen to only the most depressing or sensational news available at the time of the broadcast. That way ratings stay high and the money flows. As a result we have to continually listen to everyone debate the meaning, motivation, theoretical reasoning and most importantly the opinions of these people. No longer do we need to assemble the facts ourselves, we can just take their opinion.

Why do I need their opinion? Just give the the facts and I'll sort it out for myself. My sister is always catching me with this one. I'll tell her about something I read, more than likely it is some big medical break through or some thing and she respond with “Name your sources.” Damn, I have none. I just read an article on line that simplifies the break through and doesn't tell me much of anything else. It does give me an opinion of whether the break through is good or not. Personally I feel that that the news media we receive should be nothing but facts. A list of things happened the facts surrounding the incident. That way we can for our own opinion.

Also I don't care for the number 17. While it may be prime, I still don't care for it.

Films with Time Travel Never Happen

So this weekend I went to see the movie “Meet the Robinson's'” in Disney 3D. It was an entertaining animated film. The younger you are the more you will enjoy it. Basically the film was about an orphan that has big dreams and can't get over the fact that his birth mother gave him away. More interesting how ever was how the film addressed time travel.

Here are a few Time travel rules from this film.

1. If you're erased as a result of history being altered and are then brought back as a result of that charge being undone you will remember it.

2. When an altered event is corrected when you travel to the future the future will be the same as it was after the altered event occurred, until a visible time bubble expands and changes the future back to the previous future that existed before the historical event was altered

3. The rule from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure applies. It you say you will do something or not do something then it will take effect right after it is said.

4. “Time Cop” rules do not apply. Matter can occupy the same space as matter. Meaning if you travel back in time you can touch yourself with out exploding.

5. Dinosaurs make great pets.

The movie didn't go that way I had hoped or thought it might. Here's a good example: The main character is left on the door step of an orphanage by his mother. No big deal. Then when another kid from the future shows up I'm all thinking that the mother was from the future too. Then the future kid gives hints that indeed the main character is also form the future. But no, his mother isn't from the future. She was from the present, it was disappointing.

In the end if you want to see an entertaining film go see it.

Creativity is a Side Effect of Creation

There is almost nothing in the world which is truly original anymore. Think about it, name something that is original. Take a minute too really think about it. Think about all the books you read, TV you've watched, art you've seen, movies you've sat through and music that you listened too. Think of their plot points, their subtle color patterns, how the main character did this or that the main beat or the harmonizing. Now think of other books, movies, pieces of art and music are similar. Lines are starting to blur aren't they. Now name one that is truly original. It's hard is it. If it was easy do more research before you decide I'm wrong. When I did this I realized that there are a few truly original things, mainly farther back in history and not so much in the present. What I did find in more modern times is creativity and lots of it. So what is creativity? Creativity is defined as:

1. the state or quality of being creative.

2. the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts.

3. the process by which one utilizes creative ability: Extensive reading stimulated his creativity.

Note how it doesn't define it as the creation of meaningful “original” ideas... but rather meaningful “new” ideas... Society - I would say - defines creativity as: The act of creation by an artist and/or an advertising person for an original piece of art or to unique product marketing presentation.

Just about everything in mainstream society is a remake, rehash, repackaged, recycled, conformed item. Creativity is the driving force behind modern society I would say. All artists are inspired by other artists and create using someone else's as their template or reference point whether it be Music, Architecture, Movies, Music and Books. We all copy and paste and claim it to be original. This blog is more than likely an inspired piece of writing and not an original rant. Think before you label.

Snide Comments Welcome Reply

To begin, this creation is merely to explore the relative dimension that is now the known as the “Blogsphere”. For years know I have gazed from a far as other launched in to the unknown with their egger minds and passionate hearts. Most carried with them a purpose and direction for their creative ramblings, others gathering what little sense they could find and assembled in among the net in hopes of snaring a hit. Some return with millions behind their creation others nothing more than a collection of odd thoughts they heard on the train. Some have amassed vast amounts of secrets from the darkest corners of the human soul and others still lay invisible to even the most intense Information Super Highway Surfer.
With this first publishing I weigh anchor and cast the sails in hopes of finding a wind to shuttle me across the depths to a new land full of information both useful and nonsensical. Where flame wars engulf all those that cross the comment page and information is updated ever minute. Where cease and desist orders fall just between suppressing your First Amendment rights and outright Copyright infringement. Here I shall plant my flag and proclaim to the world “I blog here! Read my Opinion and acknowledge it as True and Good.” I shall post pictures of odd things I stumble across and stories that only are entertaining if you where there. There I shall reside until I am shut down or the net crashes. Gather round and you shall not be disappointed.